Disney's BIG RED may be a somewhat typical "boy and his dog" story - something our hosts are all too familiar with at this point. But this is, in some ways, a very atypical episode of We Want The D. Because in this episode, it's Nolan who is full of praise for the Irish Setter at the centre of this film, while it's Vicky who is more preoccupied with potential discrepencies in plot and character. And Jill is left to try to navigate this strange new reality. Let it never be said that after 363 episodes, surpises can't happen.
Here's a sentence you probably were never expecting to read: this week, our hosts are talking about a Disney film directed by David Lynch. That's right, the master of the surreal and macabre directed a film for the House of Mouse, and unsurprisingly it is neither of those things. BUT it's still extremely David Lynch, which could have had mixed results; but for our hosts was a welcome reprieve from movies about animals.
Not long ago, our hosts watched a Disney film that was mostly documentary-esque footage of a bear with some narration over the top to create some semblance of narrative. Well, RUN, COUGAR, RUN is a bit different. For one, and most notably: this time it's a cougar story we're following. But! Actor Alfonso Arau is also here, and his presence (and million-watt smile) alone more or less bump this movie up a whole letter grade. That, or our hosts are just desperate to find anything to latch onto when it comes to this type of picture.
It's very apt that our 360th episode is for a Disney sequel that is basically a full-circle repeat of the original film. Because SON OF FLUBBER is essentially a beat-for-beat recreation of the original Absent-Minded Professor, with some cosmetic changes (eg, football instead of basketball). So forgive our hosts if they wind up talking about anything else, including fond farewells to four big names from Disney's history - Tommy Kirk, Fred MacMurray, Keenan Wynn and director Robert Stevenson.
Things sure have come a long way in the Disney "animals trying to get home" subgenre of films. From silent animals being narrated over, to standard voice-over work, to BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA where CGI has advanced enough to make their mouths move. But through all the technilogical advancements, the song remains the same - beloved pet needs to get home, embarks on an incredible journey, and maybe learns something along the way. It's a tried-and-true formula, and this version is no different - the dogs are just smaller and the voice acting more impressive.
Don't get confused by the title of this week's film, D-Lovers, we aren't watching the Elton John biopic from a few years ago. And if you look at a plot synopsis, don't get turned around and think we're watching a movie inspired by a certain billionaire who's a bit fixated on traveling to Mars. No, Disney's ROCKETMAN is...let's say a lot more lowbrow than that.
This week's film follows a grizzly bear who starts out small and gets progressively bigger, while pushing down trees and terrorizing a cattle ranch. Does that sound like enough to earn this animal the title of KING OF THE GRIZZLIES? Not according to the bracket our hosts do at the end of this episode to determine the best Disney bear.
The word 'odd' is doing a lot of heavy lifting in the title of Disney's THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN. Because while the title character may have some odd quirks about him, he exists within one of the most bizarre movies our hosts have seen so far. Or maybe it's that there's probably no three people less qualified to watch a film that is largely about a couple's desperate desire to have a child....Actually no, it's definitely the movie that is strange beyond belief.
Not gonna lie, D-Lovers. After the last couple years, the idea of hitting an emergency eject button on your life, winding up on a deserted tropical paradise, and finding a chimp friend to hang out with doesn't sound all that bad. Then again, if a young woman with a heck of a spear-throwing arm and some serious daddy issues were to show up, it might put a damper on things - so maybe not the best idea. Not unlike Disney's LT. ROBIN CRUSOE, U.S.N., even if the idea came from Daddy Walt himself.
We've seen animals get put through all kinds of distressing scenarios in the name of Disney entertainment over the years, but forcing a tiger to run through a field of explosives to simulate mortar fire wasn't what any of our hosts ever expected to see. Still, A TIGER WALKS is an intriguing viewing experience, given it plays very much like a horror movie and/or Jaws for about half its runtime, before the children start singing at least.
In 1913, twenty year-old amateur golfer Francis Ouimet upset all expectations by defeating a number of professional players and champions at the U.S. Open. Was it, as Disney claims in this film, THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED? Or is this the most blatant case of false advertising since The Neverending Story? It may depend on which of our hosts you ask as some have respect and admiration for the game of golf and others....not so much.
Put on your detective hats and your Sunday finest/funeral attire to wear to court, because we have a mystery to solve and justice to render. Disney's RIDE A WILD PONY begs the question - is it possible that a pony could have been in the possession of two different children at two different times? And, more importantly, should the pony go to the poor child with behavioural issues who can't get to school without it, or the willful but wheelchair-bound rich girl whose family already owns a lot of other ponies? It's a complex question (no, really) but luckily our hosts are here to crack it.
And, as always for Disney movies set there, our apologies to the people of Australia for what we do to your accent.
It's our 350th episode! So of course our hosts had to do something special for you, and nothing marks a milestone like talking about the Disney movie with the worst parents ever. Yes, we're finally talking about THE PARENT TRAP FROZEN! Arguably Disney's biggest animated hit of the last twenty years that continues to resonate with children/torture parents to this day, listen to find out how well it lands for three childless millenials.
Every so often our hosts get a harsh reminder that the film studio that brought us movies like Beauty and the Beast and Remember the Titans also made movies like Song of the South and One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing. Disney's SMITH! is one such reminder. An egregiously racist film to its very core on almost every conceivable level, this one left our hosts reeling if not at a total loss for words. So much so that eventually all pretense is abandoned as we resort to talking about twenty-five year old episodes of Law & Order.
What defines greatness? Is it about helping others be their best? Is it about the ability to outrun a cheetah? How about a gift for physical comedy? If none of those seem quite right, then we've got bad news for you about THE WORLD'S GREATEST ATHLETE, because that would imply there's nothing particularly great about it. And if that's the case, why would Disney make such a fil- wait, hold on, says here it came out in 1973, now it all makes sense.
So you're having a bad day. You're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. But we all know that never works, so might we suggest watching ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY instead? Because, honestly, it's a pretty sweet little Disney film with more than one or two solid laughs that also imparts a lesson on how to deal with those days that just plain suck. Plus, some great cameos AND two great comedic performances from Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner. It's no surprise our hosts were charmed by this movie and think you will be too.
If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: if someone invites you onto a boat, unless you are prepared for the possibility of ending up on the water far away from land, do not get on that boat! It's a lesson young James MacArthur would have been better off remembering in the Disney movie KIDNAPPED. Maybe then the movie would have stayed being about a nephew and his batty uncle trying to kill each other over a decrepit caste instead of being a sort of lesser, more Scottish version of Treasure Island with highlanders instead of pirates.
Usually it's not too difficult to get onside with a Disney sports movie. They are almost always a plucky underdog story with manipulative scores, and really what's not to like about that? And GLORY ROAD even bears some resemblance to one of our favourite Disney football movies you may remember, a real titan of a movie. But the reality is, those movies shouldn't even be uttered in the same setence if we're comparing their relative quality. Cause this movie tries, but unlike the NCAA basketball team it depicts, fails where so many others have succeeded.
This week, with great reluctance, our hosts invite you to MEET THE DEEDLES. What's a Deedle, you ask? Good question. It's a behind-the-times archetypical character of a dumb/slacker comedy. It's a lame, over-the-top, annoying, adult truant. It's, sadly, one of Paul Walker's first film roles, before he became fast and/or furious. Our hosts had the meet the Deedles and now you do too - but we bet you'll wish you deedlen't.
It is with misty eyes and heavy hearts that we bid a fond farewell to one of Disney's biggest leading men. That's right, with THE HORSE IN THE GRAY FLANNEL SUIT our hosts have completed the gauntlet of Dean Jones movies, and what a wild ride it has been. Though surprisingly there's not really a wild ride in this movie - more like silently intense and practiced horse jumping.
Everyone knows that Disney's "Dark Age" was from around 1970-1988, but if we may be so bold we'd like to posit that a second, shorter, animation-specific Dark Age took place roughly around the first decade of the 2000s. Because woof, the movies we've been seeing from that decade are decidedly not great, and BOLT is no exception. While not without its charms (mostly fat hamster related), a movie with lifeless lead character going on a low-stakes journey is hard to get behind - despite our hosts' best efforts.
Fun fact about this week's movie: THE LITTLEST HORSE THIEVES was it's title in North America, drawing on the fun caper of three little ragamuffin children liberating some cute ponies in hopes of taking them to some sort of pony paradise. Meanwhile, in the UK where the film is also set, Disney released it as ESCAPE FROM THE DARK, drawing on the harrowing climax of the film where a group of coal miners are trapped underground and surrounded by poisonous gases. Two titles, but the same movie. How do they fit together, you may ask? Good thing you found this podcast!
As you may know, dear listener, we don't do Pixar movies on the podcast. But we do talk about Disney-released spinoffs from Pixar movies. Which of course means it was only a matter of time before we got to PLANES, the Cars-adjacent franchise that mostly exists to sell toys. But you may also know that a film set in a world populated entirely by living vehicles is going to capture our hosts' imaginations in a very specific way. So strap in, D-Lovers, this one is a wild ride.
It's the last of the Disney TV shows that got their own theatrically released movies, and we saved the most grostesque for last. TEACHER'S PET features big Nathan Lane energy as a dog who desperately wants to be a boy, an insanely stacked voice cast, and just about the ugliest animation our hosts have ever seen.