For the third time in 2017 we're heading to France to visit some of Disney's most beloved characters. That's right, even in the direct-to-video sequel, the gang's all here. Belle! Lumiere! Cogsworth! Babette (for like two seconds)! Beast! A Jewish Axe! It's Christmas time at the cursed castle, so its time to dust off the estate's help that are trapped in storage AS WELL as in the form of an inanimate object and spread some holiday cheer. Because if anything will help your beastly master seduce the human woman he's holding prisoner, it's letting her celebrate Christmas. Add in family favourites Tim Curry and Paul Reubens, subtract a hefty chunk from the animation budget, and you've got BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: THE ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS. 

The holiday season is upon us once again, but unfortunately for Vicky, Nolan and Jill the well of theatrical Disney Christmas movies has already run pretty dry. Desperate for anything even tangentially related to Christmas, our host have turned to C.S. Lewis, an author who really put the "Christ" back in "Christmas" with THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE. That's right, in their desperate search for a Lord of the Rings-esque high fantasy franchise of their own, Disney briefly hitched their wagon to the Narnia train, with decidedly mixed results. On the one hand, everything about this movie is pretty lousy, from the cast and performances to the score and soundtrack to Edmund - perhaps the biggest piece of garbage in movie history. On the other hand, a fresh-faced James McAvoy walks around shirtless but for a scarf, so at least one of our hosts is pretty happy. 

It's remarkable to think that Disney has been making theatrical films for nigh on eighty years, and they still haven't cracked the formula - sometimes they put out bona fide classics, sometimes they put out real stinkers. So it's always a surprise when we go deep into the Disney Canon and pull out something from their early years, and it turns out better than our hosts expected. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill watch the second fully live action movie the House of Mouse ever produced, THE STORY OF ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRIE MEN, and all three were pleasantly surprised at the competency on display. Shot on location in Sherwood Forest, featuring period costuming and set design, and actors who really embraced this family friendly version of a classic tale. Don't get us wrong, this is no cartoon fox version of the Robin Hood story, but its still a solidly entertaining outing all the same.

We'll try to keep this brief, D-Lovers - there's not much that can be said here that our hosts don't already say in this week's episode. Suffice to say, we highly recommend watching Disney's QUEEN OF KATWE before pushing play on this week's episode. Go ahead, it's on Netflix, we'll wait. We promise you won't regret it. Trust us, if Vicky, Nolan and Jill are anything to go off of, you'll want to spend the next sixty-plus minutes raving about what you just saw to anyone who will listen, and we've got you covered on that front on We Want The D.

Help us out here, D-Lovers - some of you must have seen Disney's ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN before and can explain how this movie spawned a few sequels and a remake starring The Rock. Because based on what is on paper (and film print), Vicky, Nolan and Jill can't quite figure this one out. Sure Tia's got great bangs, Tony can blow a mean mouth organ and Jason O'Day has a personality that lends itself to imagining a wild backstory (less depressing than his real one, at that). But all that AND a random bear appearance doesn't save this week's movie from being an extended car chase, and not in the cool Mad Max Fury Road way. 

On the surface, Disney's THE BIG GREEN is about as paint-by-numbers an underdog kids' sports movie can get. All the stereotypical plot points with none of the charm, this could have been another ingracious entry into We Want The D's dreaded bottom ten, but was saved by the oddly relevant portrayal of Small Town America on the decline. The setting of this week's movie is a Town that Voted Trump, a town where nine out of ten parents found themselves out of work when the local factory (of what?) closed down; a town where a foreign exchange teacher (a what?) can toss out the curriculum in favour of throwing her mixed-age class in a sport none of them have ever played; a town where the kids play a dangerous game involving cheeetos and pigeons just to feel alive. This town and it's citizens managed to capture Vicky, Nolan and Jill's imaginations, at least the times they weren't playing soccer.

This week on We Want The D, our hosts watched yet another bizarrely dark movie in the Disney catalog. Rife with animal abuse, parental neglect, and an all-around grim tone, you'd be forgiven if you assumed Vicky, Nolan and Jill were talking about some obscure film from the 1960s, or at the very least a Christmas movie from the 1980s. But nope, those are all elements of AIR BUD, a story that is only minimally about a dog that plays basketball, but it mostly about a child who hasn't grieved properly for his dead father; a sad, bad clown who may or may not be a serial killer; and a dog who can do a pretty cool trick but is probably going to be very sick because of all the vanilla pudding he eats. It's always a delight when you expect a silly movie and end up with bleak one, isn't it D-Lovers? 

Good day, eh, and welcome to this week's episode of We Want The D, where Vicky, Nolan and Jill once again battle against the rising tide of Disney's animation mediocrity of the late Eisner era. BROTHER BEAR doesn't have a lot going for it on paper - a voice cast anchored by Bob and Doug McKenzie and (for some reason) Joaquin Phoenix, a story with disturbing implications from conception to finale thanks to 29 writers not being able to get their shit together, and just the absolute worst songs Phil Collins had to offer. Aside from some decent background art, this movie was another nail in the coffin for traditionally animated Disney in the early 2000s and another nail in our hosts' hearts as we see yet more wasted potential. But at least we can still laugh about it with you, our beloved D-sciples!

Trick or Treat, D-Lovers, it's time for another We Want The D Halloween Special Spectacular. Having burned through so much of Disney's theatrical Halloween offerings, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are forced to turn to the strange and largely mediocre world of Disney Channel Original Movies once again, this time tackling the bizarrely beloved HALLOWEENTOWN. While our hosts can largely agree that Debbie Reynolds is an angel taken from us too soon, that's about where the common opinions stop as one host actively hated the movie, another actively loved it, and the other may have only given it the bare minimum amount of attention to qualify as having "watched" it. Much like those opinions, this episode is a bit all over the place, but we hope you'll enjoy it all the same as we unpack the story of an annoyingly lame tween, a weirdly Oedipal adolescent boy, and an all-powerful witch child going to visit their grandma in her boring little town.

We're in that spooky time of year again, D-Lovers, and that means its time to tap that rich vein of theatrical Disney Halloween movies...unfortunately thanks to our Halloween month a few years back that vein is mostly dry, so we're left with material like THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS. While probably the closest thing to a straight-up horror movie that Disney has ever done, all the classic set-ups for scares, 70s teen fashion, and Bette Davis castings in the world couldn't save this movie once they decided on the nonsense non-ending - even though it was the third or fourth one they tried.

We Want The D returns to the romantic life of the traveling circus in this week's episode. Vicky, Nolan and Jill are once again itching to be charmed by wild animals in small cages, casual child endangerment, and that good 1880s era stank. And boy does Disney's TOBY TYLER deliver on all those fronts and more. It's hard not be delighted by recurring We Want The D favourite Kevin Corcoran (aka Jimmy Bean) in his first real starring role we've seen so far, even our hosts constantly fear that an angry chimp will rip his face off, he'll take a tumble off a bareback horse, or he'll fall fully into the nefarious and creepy clutches of Concessonaire Extraordinaire Mr. Tupper.

Oh. My. God. D-Lovers - have you seen Disney's MALEFICENT? Have you seen how good Angelina Jolie looks in this movie? Have you seen her incredible performance as Maleficent? She's so powerful, so beautiful; whether she is wearing a cowl of snake skin or black silk. With or without her wings (so cruelly garotted off by Shartlo Copley) she strikes a very good silhouette, always perfectly lit. She is the only thing in this movie - as evidenced by the fact that, despite some pretty decent production design and a few half-explored themes, it's the only thing that Vicky, Nolan and Jill can talk about. Seriously, she is so beautiful. Especially next to Elle Fanning's gross hands.

This week on We Want The D we're going back to a simpler time. A time when Disney animation was crisp and beautiful, with nary a hint of xerography. A time when you could make a movie about a princess who only says about sixteen lines of dialogue. A time when film run times were tight, villains were straight-forwardly evil, and you could arrange a marriage between two children while one was prepubescent and the other was fresh from the womb. If you haven't figured it out by now Vicky, Nolan and Jill watched SLEEPING BEAUTY, and like all of Disney's classic its cause for celebration of what the studio was able to achieve with animation, but with more than enough fuel for oddball digressions on the etiquette of baby shower invites, the merit of spells as gifts and whether pink or blue is a better aesthetic choice for Aurora in the scope of the Disney Princess line-up. Keep those eyelids from drooping, there's no time for sleep when there's a new We Want The D!

It's the conclusion to We Want The D's Summer of Pirates and much like the franchise, our hosts are all worn out. For a series that start on a such high note of optimism and celebration, things sure have come a long way. Last week, Vicky, Nolan and Jill raged against the fourth installment of Disney's mega-franchise - this week it's a sad acceptance where all they could do is laugh at the ridiculous of Jack Sparrow's latest non-adventure. Considering this fifth movie both relies on and completely ignores the story set up in the original trilogy, it proves understandably frustrating for anyone who expects even the smallest amount of continuity in a mythology. Instead we get a completely broken timeline, character motives based on nothing, and a general wet noodle of a movie. 

The Summer of Pirates continues on We Want The D with the fourth installment of the franchise, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES. The people may have been hungry for more Jack Sparrow after the conclusion of the initial trilogy, but Vicky, Nolan and Jill can't imagine anyone who felt satisfied by this high budget television episode of a movie. Disney managed to pull off a film that sorta looks like a Pirates movie and sorta sounds like a Pirates movie, but by no means comes even close to what came before. How could it, when the central character is sidelined for Penelope Cruz, time is endlessly wasting on a pointless mermaid/missionary love story, and the Spanish are just hanging out, popping in and out whenever they are needed. There are few franchises that can sustain themselves indefinitely, but for a series of films that started out so strongly, this one has worn itself out rather quickly. 

Vicky, Nolan and Jill have made their annual pilgrimage to Bob's Lake, which means its time to check in on the Szalinksi family one last time in We Want The D's first foray into direct-to-video Disney. HONEY, WE SHRUNK OURSELVES lacks the budget and much of the cast of the first two films; but what it lacks in those areas is more than makes up for in product placement and some unfortunate implications as to what happened to the older Szalinksi children and the original Diane. We're just saying, its weird that Adam's older siblings are barely mentioned. And who is this "Gordon Szalinki" who seems to have appeared out of nowhere? If we didn't know any better, we'd say that maybe Wayne Szalinski cracked a bit in the intervening eight years between films, but that can't be true...can it?

We Want The D presents another history lesson on the turbulent tenure of Disney CEO Michael Eisner in this special mini-episode. This time, we learn about how Roy Disney leveraged his family name and legacy to oust the man he believed was destroying it.

Stop us if you've heard this one before: after a bitter falling out, the parents of infant twins separate, but rather than splitting custody they each take one of the children and disappear from the others' lives. Later in life, the identical twins meet and an intense rivalry develops. Now we know what you're thinking, our hosts have already done both The Parent Trap movies, and you are correct. But this week we are tackling Disney's HOT LEAD AND COLD FEET, which has that exact same premise except instead of summer camp hijinks, we've got murderous wild west cowboy race hijinks. Yes, Disney has gone back to the well of one actor playing opposite siblings, and throwing in the father for good measure as Jim Dale nerds himself up as tambourine-whacking missionary Eli; sexies himself up as destructive, dirty outlaw Billy; and makes himself look like a walking corpse as the eccentric, suicide-faking Jasper. The result is...well, it's a movie alright. Throw in We Want The D mainstay Don Knotts and you've got a recipe for 70s Disney family entertainment, only with a lot more gunplay than normal.

As we've established (many times) before, the 1980s were a weird time for Disney, as the flailing and ailing company tried to outgrow their family-first approach with a more mature and gritty series of films. Most of the time, that didn't go over so well. At least once, however, they managed to harness a perfect storm of creatives and performers to make one of the most fascinating, ugly, dense and well-realized movies our hosts have any seen. Robert Altman's POPEYE takes the heightened look and reality of the comic strip and cartoon and puts it right up on the screen in live action. The result is discomforting and kind of gross, but also very appealing and charming? You can't help but admire his commitment to his vision, nor his brilliance in casting Robin Williams in his first leading film role or Shelley Duvall in the role she was born to play. Vicky, Nolan and Jill are at once completely confounded and incredibly impressed, though we hope you won't be with this episode of We Want The D.

We'll be honest: this episode of We Want The D is a bit all over the place. But we're not going to apologize for it! How could you expect Vicky, Nolan and Jill to seriously discuss yet another live action Disney movie from the 1970s without breaking. The mere premise of this movie - "nowhere in the rulebook does it say a mule can't play football!" - is just the tip of the iceberg in how this film nearly drove our hosts insane. We can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but it could have been as early as the insanely drawn-out opening credits sequence; the twenty minute mark when the gambling subplot we all knew was coming gets introduced; or maybe the extended sequence of Tom Bosley and and Tim Conway chasing a mule around a grocery store at the climax of the film. GUS doesn't offer anything we haven't seen before in terms of wacky hijinks, nondescript Girl character, and doofy premises, but there's something about it that pushed us over the edge. We acknowledge this, beloved D-sciples, but we won't apologize for it.

In this week's episode, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are unpacking why a movie that seems to have so much going for it can still end up failing. Disney's ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE has the pedigree of Trousdale and Wise; the voice talents of Michael J. Fox, James Garner and Cree Summer (to name only a few); and an art style inspired by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola - but for all of that it is as hollow, vacant and flat as the citizenry of Atlantis - no personality, no culture, no charm. Our hosts spend a lot of time trying to figure out what went wrong, and while the ethos of "less songs, more explosions" probably didn't do the team working on this movie any favours in making this film feel more like Michael Bay and less like Disney, its not as simple as that. So join us in our investigation as we dissect another animated outing on We Want The D.

The last time we saw Troy, Gabriella and the rest of the Wildcats they were leaving behind their high school (musical) days at the end of senior year, with little to no context of how they got there. This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are remedying that by checking out the middle installment of the Disney Channel Original phenomenon, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2. This time the Wildcats are off the court (kinda) and stage (not really) and "working" summer jobs, but don't worry they're still all in this together so they'll almost certainly survive this challenging rite of passage without turning on each other for petty and stupid reasons. 

It seems fitting that the longest film in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise would mean an extra-bloated episode of We Want The D. But in our defense, AT WORLD'S END has a lot to unpack in terms of sheer plot. Each character has their own scheme to follow, their own betrayal to make, and for chrissakes they spend the first hour just trying to bring Jack Sparrow back from the dead. This may be the most convoluted of any of the installments to Disney's seafaring franchise (certainly so far), but there's enough residual charm from the first two films that aside from being waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long there's worse things you could do while folding laundry. Join us for another adventure on the high seas as we continue our Summer of Pirates!

This week's episode of We Want The D is all about a movie about overcoming adversity and obstacles to achieve your dreams. It doesn't matter if you're an unwanted orphan during the great depression. It doesn't matter if you're a pint-sized teenager surrounded by movie star wannabes, gingers who can't grill hot dogs, or a gruff mentor with bad hair extensions. It doesn't because, as the title of this Disney movie constantly reminds us, WILD HEARTS CAN'T BE BROKEN. So even if you find yourself in circumstances like the ones mentioned here, know that no matter what, you too can achieve your dreams of diving horses into pools of muddy water on the Atlantic City boardwalk. Just...for the love of god make sure you close your eyes before you hit the water. 

Welcome to the most self-indulgent episode of We Want The D to date! In this special mini-episode Vicky, Nolan and Jill look back at all the most ridiculous, boring and flat-out bad Disney movies we've watched over the past 100+ episodes and try to come up with a definitive list of the ten worst Disney movies we've watched to date. Each of our hosts brings their own opinions to the table and duke it out over which movies deserve the prestige of being top of the garbage pile. There's shock, there's anger and there's grim acceptance as they go about their task, but it's all worth it at the end when they are able to present to you the definitive We Want The D Bottom Ten! (So far...)